The Gist Of 90% Of All Self Help Books

self help books

Roughly 90% of Self Help books contain the same advice repeated over and over. Don’t believe me? Stop by your local bookstore sometime and read the Table of Contents of a dozen or so Self Help books. The advice may be worded differently or geared toward a specific target audience (eg. men, women, various ethnic and social groups), but the underlying message is pretty much always the same. Here’s a list of that advice:

1. You Create Your Own Life

You are not a victim. You are 100% responsible for the life you have right now. If you are unhappy, you have the power to change your attitude and actions to begin making your life better. Always remember, whether you think life sucks or you think life is great, either way, you’re right.

2. You Make Yourself Feel The Way You Feel

Ever notice how some people are able to brush off insults, while others get furious and start throwing punches? Realize that nobody can “make” you feel anything. You are the one that “chooses” to feel good or bad about a particular event or action that occurs.

3. Fake It Until You Make It

If you want to be more confident, happy, or positive, then “pretend” that you already are this way. Eventually, after practicing this long enough, you’ll realize that you’re no longer “pretending”.

4. Follow Your Purpose

A purpose is what you enjoy doing that you never get tired of and you will do for the rest of your life. Is your purpose to write screenplays? Is it to help sick people? Write down on index cards a list of purposes and choose the one that speaks to you the most.

5. Set Goals And Schedule Your Day

List out 5 to 10 goals that you want for your life. Break each goal up into smaller sub-goals and then break those sub-goals into individual tasks and action steps. Every night, plan the next day in advance. Create a daily “to-do list” with those tasks that you need to do to accomplish your goal.

6. Live In The Present

Regret and shame come from dwelling in the past. Worrying and anxiety come from living in the future. True peace of mind comes from living in the present. The more you become aware of being in the present, the more it becomes a part of your daily life.

7. The Power Of Attraction

The power of attraction is a powerful mental tool. The process works by focusing on something that you want while visualizing that you already have it. You then have a heightened level of awareness for recognizing opportunities that occur around you. These opportunities will then assist in bringing what you want into your physical reality.

8. Expand Your Comfort Zone

Your comfort zone (what you feel comfortable doing) is always in a state of either expanding or contracting. The more you get out in the world and do what you feel uncomfortable doing, the less inhibited you become, thereby allowing you to live a richer and fuller life.

9. Be Thankful For What You Have

Every morning before you start your day, give thanks and appreciation for what you have. It’s only when we are thankful for what we have that life gives us more blessings and abundance to be thankful for.

10. The Power Of Asking

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. It’s the reason that children ask their parents for the same thing over and over again, because they know mom and dad will eventually cave in. The same concept works in the real world. If there is something in the world you want, ask for it…or at least ask how to get it.

11. Learn From The Pros And Copy Them

Find the successful people in your field and ask them for advice. Ask them what they do to be successful, take notes, and then copy them. A lot of people think that the pros don’t want to share. The opposite is actually true. Most successful people are more that willing to share their knowledge if you ask them.

12. Ignore The Trolls

Trolls are people that will try to discourage you from your dreams. Don’t listen to them. Realize that the only reason they are doing it is because by seeing you chase after your dreams, it’s reminding them that they aren’t chasing theirs. Misery loves company.


Four Kinds of People in the World

“Cop-outs” – These are people who don’t have any goals and have very little drive. They just want to remain the same, doing nothing different to change their lives or the lives of anyone around them. They probably spend their time watching mindless hours of television.

“Hold-outs” – These are people who would like to be more, do more and have more, but are afraid. Allowing their fears to control them and never get started with anything. They’re big on hoping and wishing instead of doing.

“Drop-outs” – These are the people who take action and get started, but just never finish. They don’t stay committed and they don’t continue building relationships. They have all the potential, but don’t have the results because they “buy into” their own excuses time and time again. They don’t stay focused or determined and jump to next opportunity that they find, failing again and again, blaming the previous venture.

Finally, the “All-outs” – These are the people that get results. It doesn’t matter what business they’re in, Bricks and Mortar,Sports , Direct Sales, Insurance or Internet Marketing. A common characteristic of all “All-outs” is they’re very clear on what they want and find a way to win. They take full responsibility and never point a finger. No excuses, no stories…only solutions.

Which of these four do you think are?

Once you know, that’s half the battle. Most of us sleep walk through life and never take the time to analyse ourselves.

The Elephant in the room

The Blind Men and the Elephant

John Godfrey Saxe (1816-1887)

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
“God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a WALL!”

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, “Ho, what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me ’tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a SPEAR!”

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a SNAKE!”

The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee
“What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain,” quoth he:
“‘Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a TREE!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: “E’en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a FAN!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
“I see,” quoth he, “the Elephant
Is very like a ROPE!”

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

Though each was partly in the right,The moral of the story is that each one of us sees things exclusively within one’s point of view.  We should also try to understand other people’s points of view.  This will enable us to get a proper perspective on different  situations and events.

“Sometimes a conversation can change your life”

If you’re going to be successful in life, there are three important conversations you need to master.

1. “Thank You…”

Gratitude enables tremendous potential in all those who experience its impact.

Being thankful enables you to see opportunities that others don’t see. When you’re thankful you are more likely to be honest, work harder, and collaborate at a level that makes you a prized asset in any situation.

If you find yourself acting passive aggressive you know that you need to work on being more thankful.

Like any habit, gratitude is an attitude formed deliberately. It doesn’t happen automatically (or magically); gratitude occurs when you intentionally take time to pause and remind yourself of all the good in your life —  even if your current situation might not seem all that amazing.

2. “I’m Sorry…”

The single biggest reason that friendships become fractured and potential gets wasted is a lack of humility when something unexpected and negative occurs.

If you can learn to apologize, you stand to prevail over a lifetime of impossible obstacles. A simple heartfelt apology instantly mends what no other amount of explanation can fix. Your whole being wants to factor and frame and finesse; so it is memorable when you can simply pause and take responsibility for your actions.

An unqualified apology. No excuses. No promises. Just an genuine recognition that things didn’t go the way you intended.  That’s the secret to fixing bad situations.

3. “Why”?

Curiosity is the quickest gateway to breakthrough. It stems from dissatisfaction with your current situation.  And builds on your anticipation for how things could be.

There’s nothing wrong with questioning everything. You might annoy those around you sometimes; but let’s be frank — it’s your life to live. Your success to attain. So be curious. Ask the hard questions. Don’t accept easy explanations, even though that is what comes easiest.

It’s all too easy to just shake your head and nod, pretending like you know what’s going on — all the while hoping that no one figures out that you don’t have a clue.  And that’s just silly. And damaging.

Don’t hesitate to ask questions like:  “What makes you say that?” The answers you’ll get will surprise not only you but everyone else around you pretending like they have it all together too.

The right conversation can literally change the rest of your life.

Sometimes that conversation is just a few right words bravely spoken.